This is a guest post from Katie Karras – a communications and training consultant in Washington, DC and a proud member of St. Timothy and St. Athanasius Church in Arlington, VA. You can follow her on twitter, @KatieKarras. And if you too are interested in guest posting on my blog, please visit my Guest Post guidelines for more info.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
That's the promise God gave me at the start of 2014. And to be honest, I spent most of this year confused by it.
We’ve heard quite a bit about the encouraging promises of God on this blog, but when I looked at my promise on January 1, I was a little disappointed. Others were given promises of hope, of victory, and of slicing through bronze while I was given a promise that was seemingly "not applicable" to me. I had no idea what to expect in 2014.
Well here we are, ¾ of the way through the year, and I’m still not brokenhearted, nor have I been crushed in spirit. As I contemplated whether or not God maybe misspoke that New Year’s Day, I got an email from a friend I've always looked up to, gently asking where I had been and why I hadn't reached out during a particularly hard time.
I’d always considered myself a good friend. I’m the first one to help organize birthday parties, bridal showers, build baby furniture, etc. Then I realized something, all of those things I help out with are CELEBRATORY events. All deserving attention, but very happy occasions nonetheless.
When I thought about the harder times my friends have been through, I seemed to be much less involved. I've been in the back row of family funerals, sent cards through the mail, donated to charities, prayed in the comfort of my own home…
There's a clear contrast between my involvements in these types of events. Why wasn't I next to my friends holding their hands when they’ve lost someone they love? Why wasn't I at these friends’ houses making sure that they were comfortable while ill?
Where was I???
Here’s what I told myself: “Who am I to support friends going through something I can never fully understand?”
I thought myself inadequate to stand beside someone who was in the midst of something bad, because my life was going pretty good. I told myself that it was probably best to let someone with more experience help them.
When friends/family go through hard times, it’s very easy for them to google a remedy to their situation, or to find a discussion board of people in similar situations. That's not the same as having a friend beside them. A friend has seen you in good times and bad. They rejoice with you and they weep with you (Romans 12:15) not because they understand what you’re going through, but because they love you.
I realized that I wasn't distancing myself in hard times because it was what’s best for my friends/family. I was distancing myself because it was what was most comfortable for me.
Jesus said if anyone gives one of His own just a cup of cold water it will not be forgotten (Matthew 10:42). That’s not because the cold water will solve all of that person’s problems, but because that cold water is something small that we can contribute to make that person more comfortable in the moment.
That cup of cold water is not a cure, a solution, or a job; it’s a hug, a phone call, or a cup of coffee. It’s a reminder that Christ’s love is greater than the tribulations of this world (John 16:33); that through good times and bad, there is love surrounding them.
So many of my friends - more than I could have ever thought - have gone through physical, vocational, emotional, mental, and spiritual broken heartedness this year. While I have nothing to offer them, I have Christ... moreover I AM CHRIST to them (2 Corinthians 5:18-20). I am Christ not just to the strangers in third world countries, but to my friends/family sitting in the pew next to me on Sundays.
I don’t know why God puts some people through difficulties while pouring abundance on others, but I have learned that being happy doesn't disqualify me from being a good friend to those who are in tough times. Christ justifies us (Romans 3:24) and strengthens us beyond our own experience or capability (Psalm 18:30-32).
While I am given the opportunity, I will strive to be there for my friends. I will strive to get out of my comfort zone to make phone calls and visits. I will strive to not only rejoice when they rejoice, but weep when they weep. Not from afar, but alongside them, so that the people who are most important to me know that His promise holds true.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)